Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Thursday, 27 October 2011

What's the point?

SO Jeremy Clarkson has dropped the injunction he took out against his ex-wife's allegations they had an affair after he remarried, saying "it's pointless".

He means of course that the "anarchic" internet allows these secrets to sneak out and it's a waste of time and money trying to stop it, rather than the fact it is 360-degrees of wrong for anyone, much less a millionaire and someone who has been a journalist since he left school, to remove someone else's ability to express themselves.

Mr Clarkson has not been so bold as to accuse his ex-wife Alexandra Hall of lying, and nor has he explained that what he injuncted was a book she wrote about her own life, and which included a chapter or so on her first marriage and what she says happened after they divorced.

It's a subject close to my own heart but let's just state, for the record, no-one should ever have the right to injunct anyone from writing about themselves. If someone wants to stop publication of what they claim are lies, they have to take it to court and thrash it out in front of a judge. That's the way the free world works. Mr Clarkson decided he couldn't be bothered with that, and has locked himself inside a nuclear submarine while his wife and children put up with the headlines.

But while he has got us on the topic there are few other things which are pointless and we shouldn't bother with:
1. Cheryl Tweedy.
2. National debt. A debt of £500 should and could be repaid, but a debt of £500bn might as well be forgotten about because you've no chance. Let's reset all national debts to zero - the US, Zaire, Italy, Greece, everyone - because it's not like anyone was going to get paid anyway, and live within our means. Just a thought.
3. Stress. Whether it's work, love, or money, you've either got it or you haven't and you've not much control over how it comes and goes. We all end up dead; the trick is to enjoy yourself for as long as possible first.
4. Lettuce. See 3.
5. Actors offering commentary on anything except acting. I'm not interested in your views on politics, Africa or the travelling community and for goodness' sake stop making out your job is hard. Standing where you're told and reading aloud is hardly the same as being down the pit.
6. Family arguments. Unless your parents are Fred and Rose West you don't have much to be bothered about, so be nice.
7. Celebrity fitness videos. Used only by men wanting to exercise their right arm, and there are plenty of other ways to do that.
8. E4+1.
9. Media studies degrees.
10. Vegetarian bacon. If you like bacon, you are not a vegetarian.
But for starters, I'll be happy with a deep-sea accident which means Jeremy Clarkson and his vile brown teeth are locked inside a nuclear reactor for the rest of time.

Scuttle him!

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