Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump...

... and why the fact she's a woman matters is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Keep your fingers crossed, hey?

Jeremy Corbyn, his Momentum...

... and why he ought to do something to stop it is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Judging by the comments you will need to bring your tinfoil hat and leave the sense of humour at home.

The knighthood of Philip Green...

... and why stripping him of it won't change a thing about our dishonours system is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

*curtsies*

Jeremy Corbyn, the Labour leadership election...

... and why voting for him will be a vote for Nigel Farage and UKIP is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Bon appetit.

Lance Hart, the Spalding shootings...

... and why family annihilation is no different to any other murder is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Amazing to consider this is the one sort of terrorism we don't seem to mind.

Jeremy Corbyn, the Trident vote...

... and how he's being held hostage by his own party is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And no, it seems mad to me too.

Boris Johnson's new job as Foreign Secretary...

... and head of MI6 is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

What ho, spiffing, ZING et cetera.

David Cameron's last day on the job...

... and the one thing we'll remember him for is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

OINK.

Jeremy Corbyn, Angela Eagle...

... and what they've got in common with Star Wars is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

*sings*

Since you'd better go, you'd better go now, go now...

Dallas, Philando Castile, and the Tory leadership contest...

... are the topics of TWO columns today in the Daily Mirror. You lucky people can read about America's gun problem here and the women who might be our next Prime Minister here.

Try not to let either of them spoil your weekend.

Tony Blair, the Chilcot Report...

... and why we already know how it all went wrong is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Be furious.

Nigel Farage, his resignation speech...

... and what he really meant to say is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Enjoy your hole.

How Brexit's broken everything...

... but it doesn't have to break everything is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And now I need a stiff drink. Have a non-extreme weekend.