The reason why teenagers are miserable...

... and why it is a bigger problem for us all than anyone realises is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Now I'm off to my room. For, like, EVAH.

UKIP, the latest immigration figures...

... and why it turns out Nigel has been wrong THIS WHOLE TIME is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And if like me you've just heard the word 'snollygoster' for the first time, can I suggest we all use it more often.

Queen Camilla and Princess Diana...

... and why the head that wears the crown will never lie easy, or perhaps even be legally married, is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Why anyone still cares is beyond me, but it seems like thousands of you do.

Big Ben, Brexit...

... and why Britain really doesn't have to be *quite* so stupid is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you may pretend is about som one else here.

Enjoy.

Jacob Rees-Mogg and Donald Trump...

... and why they're worrying alike is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And I'm going to hope public sanity reasserts itself.

Justin Gatlin and the ISIS bride...

... and why the penalties we demand for others says more about us than them is the topic of today's not-that-contrary really column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Can't be contrary when it's based on facts, can it?

Prince Philip's retirement...

... and why Brexit made it inevitable we no longer need someone to offend foreigners on our behalf is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

If only they'd put that on the ballot paper.