Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

The heatwave...

... and how to cool down like a Tory is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

It's like sitting in a freezer, I tells you.

Tuesday, 30 June 2015

The Independent Living Fund...

... and how it's so unimportant to the rest of us we might as well leave it for those to whom it means everything is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Iain Duncan Smith, BTW, is not in a wheelchair.

Monday, 29 June 2015

ISIS and how to beat them...

... using the deadliest weapon at our disposal - because frankly all the others have been sold, scrapped or mothballed - is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

You might want to hit something afterwards.

Friday, 26 June 2015

David Cameron, the job of Prime Minister...

... and why he doesn't seem to know what it means is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Only another five years to go.

Wednesday, 24 June 2015

The migrant crisis...

... and how to solve it is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

You'll need a stiff drink afterwards. I know I do.

Monday, 22 June 2015

Jeremy Hunt, foreign nurses...

... and why he is just like a mollusc in a suit only more dangerous is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read by clicking here.

Careful it doesn't turn your stomach.

Friday, 19 June 2015

The renovations of the Houses of Parliament...

... and why we need to do it with dynamite is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

KABOOM.

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

The new 50 Shades of Grey novel...

... and why this time it's really going to hurt is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

You know you like it.

Monday, 15 June 2015

Magna Carta and why David Cameron...

... almost certainly hasn't bothered to read it is the topic of today's column which you can read here.

Does anyone have a ploughshare? I feel like a good brandish.

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

Sir Tim Hunt saying women always cry...

... and fall in love with him is the topic of today's slightly sarcastic column in the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I'm sure you can find something to argue with.

Monday, 8 June 2015

The asteroid apocalypse, Nigel Farage...

... and why we ought to take the threat of both seriously is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Tin foil hats on, folks, the end is nigh.

Tuesday, 2 June 2015

Britain's Got Talent, Matisse...

... and why our main talent seems to be stupidity is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I mean. A DOG on a TIGHTROPE.

Monday, 1 June 2015

Sepp Blatter, violence and porn videos...

... and why they have no place in what's laughably known as the Beautiful Game is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And yes, Pele did do that. In 1963. Not so perfect now, eh?

Friday, 29 May 2015

The benefits cap...

... and why seven children might just be too many is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And no, I haven't joined the Tories. They still won't have me.

Wednesday, 27 May 2015

The Queen's Speech...

... and all the stuff she *didn't* tell us is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Don't mind me, I'm just off to the tower.

Monday, 25 May 2015

The most interesting man you don't know.

The name of Neville Thurlbeck is one that strikes fear into the heart of most journalists.

To know Neville was on the same job, booked into the same hotel or trying for the same interview was like receiving a death sentence: he never failed, so you were going to.

But it's a name with little resonance for anyone else. It's just a byline, someone who sounds underwhelming. Perhaps that's why on the front cover of his new book Neville's name is in smaller print than the title, the graphics, and the name of his former employer - the News of the World.

 
On Fleet Street Neville is renowned for a dress sense that involves tweed and leather elbow patches, for a catalogue of jaw-dropping exclusives from Rebecca Loos to Max Mosley and Jeffrey Archer... and for being the journalist who detonated an atomic bomb under the phone hacking scandal.

It was Neville who tasked the paper's private detective Glenn Mulcaire with investigating Milly Dowler when the schoolgirl went missing in 2002.

That led to the voicemail interception which, when discovered and reported by The Guardian almost a decade later, turned a media scandal into an international corporate disaster and led in a few days to the closure of the most successful newspaper in the English-speaking world.

In his book Neville issues an unreserved apology to all affected by his decision. But if you want any more detail about that, his six month jail sentence or the five weeks he served in a cell alongside Andy Coulson, his former editor and long-time friend, you won't find it.

This is a memoir of a 30-year career, and as such its 321 pages are an edited, pared-down description of how Neville broke some of the biggest stories in living memory.

For anyone wondering how journalists get their stories when they're not phone hacking, it's a revelation. The lengths you have to go to get a hidden camera in the right place in an orgy, the problem with refusing to pay the friendly hooker what she was expecting, and how to find documentary evidence of who owns the phone that's sending Rebecca Loos dirty text messages.

There's a lot on Neville's humble north east beginnings, his work ethic, his first job as a teacher in Africa, before he gets to the Harrow Observer and works his way on to Fleet Street. There's a few tantalising snippets about unnamed politicians and the stories that got away, and how he began working as an informant for the police and security services. And there's a great deal of affection for a career which Neville obviously loved.

It's the book of how Neville would like to be remembered - as he says at the beginning, if no-one else likes it at least it will be something for his children to read.

But every newspaper story has material that didn't make the cut. Lawyers and editors take chunks out, The Reader is judged uninterested in other parts, and the pressure of space means you've got room only to tell the best bits.

In that, Neville's book is just like every story the News of the World ever published, back in the days when everyone bought it, few people liked to admit it, and the great and good prayed every Saturday night that they weren't in it.

After you've read it, you can't help wondering what else Neville's got up his sleeve.

* Neville's book, Tabloid Secrets, is published by Biteback for £11.99 and available in all good bookshops. It's also an ebook. Follow Nev on Twitter here: @nthurlbeck

Friday, 15 May 2015

Chuka going, UKIP imploding, and Ed partying in Ibiza...

... all add up to Britain being totally bonkers. The possible reasons for this are the subject of today's column for the Daily Mirror, which you can read here.

*puts underpants on head*

Monday, 11 May 2015

How Labour lost the General Election...

... and how their voters gave us a Tory government is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And stop whinging.

Thursday, 7 May 2015

Why bother to vote?

It's not like it changes anything, as you can see from today's special General Election day column in the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Stay at home, why don't you?

Tuesday, 5 May 2015

After the election...

... and what we can expect are the topics of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I'm off to put a tenner on the Shapps-1000 right now.