Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Friday, 22 September 2017

Uber's loss of license and the terrible taxi crisis of 2017...

... which may actually be better than you think, you soft poncy city type, is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Enjoy.

Wednesday, 20 September 2017

Star Trek does Brexit better...

... than this current shower of clowns, so let's enjoy the metaphors while we can. You can read today's 23rd century column for the Daily Mirror here.

Warp factor six, Mr Sulu.

Friday, 15 September 2017

Theresa May's power grab...

... and the horrific detail of what, exactly, she's doing to your democracy is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Have a nice weekend. I'm off to find a ploughshare to brandish.

Monday, 11 September 2017

The six year old boy in a skirt...

... and the madness of parents who think the Church of England is LESS confusing than that is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Madness with a capital MAD.

Friday, 8 September 2017

Hurricane Irma, climate change...

... and why even this is entirely natural it's still the fault of human stupidity is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

If you don't like it, then you're probably one of the stupids.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Unskilled EU immigration...

... and why we'd be daft to get rid of it is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Let's hope I don't have to explain myself to the Ribenaberry police.

Monday, 4 September 2017

Kate and Will's third royal baby...

... and why it is a really bad idea is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And yes, it's all true.

Friday, 1 September 2017

The Brexit negotiations...

... and how they're going REALLY REALLY WELL HONEST is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read about here.

And no, it's not 'remoaning'. It's an analogy, and the first four letters of that are the most important.

Wednesday, 30 August 2017

The reason why teenagers are miserable...

... and why it is a bigger problem for us all than anyone realises is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Now I'm off to my room. For, like, EVAH.

Friday, 25 August 2017

UKIP, the latest immigration figures...

... and why it turns out Nigel has been wrong THIS WHOLE TIME is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And if like me you've just heard the word 'snollygoster' for the first time, can I suggest we all use it more often.

Monday, 21 August 2017

Queen Camilla and Princess Diana...

... and why the head that wears the crown will never lie easy, or perhaps even be legally married, is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Why anyone still cares is beyond me, but it seems like thousands of you do.

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Big Ben, Brexit...

... and why Britain really doesn't have to be *quite* so stupid is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you may pretend is about som one else here.

Enjoy.

Monday, 14 August 2017

Jacob Rees-Mogg and Donald Trump...

... and why they're worrying alike is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And I'm going to hope public sanity reasserts itself.

Monday, 7 August 2017

Justin Gatlin and the ISIS bride...

... and why the penalties we demand for others says more about us than them is the topic of today's not-that-contrary really column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Can't be contrary when it's based on facts, can it?

Wednesday, 2 August 2017

Prince Philip's retirement...

... and why Brexit made it inevitable we no longer need someone to offend foreigners on our behalf is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

If only they'd put that on the ballot paper.

Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Legal aid, Charlie Gard...

... and why the Tories are charging us all an Innocence Tax is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

TIP: Don't vote Tory.

Monday, 24 July 2017

The Tories, the BBC pay gap...

... and why half the country is about to get even more aerated about who gets paid what is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And yes, that scandal is more than likely about to include YOU TOO. It's not all Gary Lineker's fault.

Friday, 21 July 2017

Love Island and the Tory Party...

... and why they're more alike than anyone realised is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Muggy.

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

The BBC pay list...

... and the presenters who are paid too much and the others not paid enough is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Now I'm off to apply for a job at the BBC.

Monday, 17 July 2017

The 13th Doctor who...

... still doesn't have the power to save the Tory Party from itself is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And if you don't get the joke, you're probably a Dalek.