Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Friday, 17 April 2015

The politics pantomime...

... and why Wee Jimmy Krankie makes a really weird genie is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Oh no I won't! Oh yes I will! Etc.

Friday, 27 March 2015

Prince Charles' private letters...

... and what exactly they might say is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Worryingly, it's probably not far from the truth.

Wednesday, 25 March 2015

Jeremy Clarkson sacked...

... and the people who could replace him are the topic of today's column for today's Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And let's hope that's the last I have to write about it for a while, OK?

Boris Johnson as Prime Minister...

... and why David Cameron might want you to think about what that would be like is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And I'm serious about the Turkish delight.

Monday, 23 March 2015

The 9 things we learned from the 2015 solar eclipse...

... and why it wasn't as rubbish as you might think is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Only another 75 years til the next one.

Wednesday, 18 March 2015

George Osborne's budget...

.. and all the things he didn't tell us are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

It might make you angry. I hope so, anyway.

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Prince Harry leaving the Army...

... and what his new job might be is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Obviously, am hoping for the Kanye West one, but I'll be happy with any of them.

Friday, 13 March 2015

Comic Relief, Terry Pratchett, celebrity charity work...

... and why that's all great but an unfamous woman called Andrea Annear was even greater is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

You will probably need a tissue by the end. Have a nice weekend, humans - and give each other a hug.

Thursday, 12 March 2015

Jeremy Clarkson...

... and why sacking him from Top Gear might be deserved but would make everything worse for the rest of us is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

NOW GIMME THE FOOD.

Tuesday, 10 March 2015

The murder of dogs at Crufts...

... and why torturing animals makes you less than human is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Euthanise the lot of 'em, I say.

Friday, 6 March 2015

Football and the rule of law...

... and what happens when it doesn't apply on the pitch is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Of course, I'm a girl. What do I know?

An open letter to Jihadi John...

... which he won't want to read but you might is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Ker-pow, Emwazi.

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

UKIP, Nigel's immigration policies...

... and why he might actually increase immigration if he is elected is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Please send all frothing xenophobic "you must be a lesbian" rants care of your mum.

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Penis size...

... and why, unfortunately, we're not running out of dicks just yet is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

It's withering.

Friday, 13 February 2015

50 Shades of Grey, Valentine's Day...

... and why it means romance is finally dead is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I hope there's hope!

Monday, 9 February 2015

The fashion BAFTAs...

... and what happens when men turn up to the red carpet all wearing the exact same thing is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

*smiles confidently*

Friday, 6 February 2015

Myleene Klass, middle class parents...

... and why we ought to stop them breeding is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And if you'd like to complain to someone about it, I wish you the best of luck!

Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Sex education for five year olds...

... and why it might be the best thing adults could ever do for them is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And if you don't like it, you're the one who needs it most.

Tuesday, 3 February 2015

The lies of David Cameron...

... and why we don't *have* to let them get away with it, just because Ed is rubbish, is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And in case you can't be bothered to read to the end: REMEMBER TO VOTE.

Friday, 30 January 2015

Kim Sears swearing...

... and why we should all be ****ing grateful for it is the topic of today's column for the ****ing Daily Mirror and you can read it here.

****ing have that, you **** ****s, and have a nice weekend.