Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Monday, 28 July 2014

Tony Blair's envoy role in Gaza and Israel...

... and why the world would be a better place if Tony Blair wasn't the special envoy is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

And having written it, I'm going to have a very large gin. Have yourself one, why don't you?

Friday, 25 July 2014

50 Shades of Grey trailer...

... and why it's nothing like a good spanking is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And then go and wait for me in the Red Room.

Thursday, 24 July 2014

Gaza, MH17, Syria, my grandad...

... and why World War II never ended is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Tough one to write, that. RIP grandad.


Tuesday, 22 July 2014

Prince George's first birthday...

... and why he's really not happy about it is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I shall just sit here and wait for the OBE.

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

The wimmin's reshuffle and wimmin bishops...

... are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here, if impotent fury is your thing.

Monday, 14 July 2014

Three months since Boko Haram kidnapped Nigerian schoolgirls...

... and what's happened since? Find out in today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Then you'll want to punch a wall, I expect. I know I do.

Friday, 11 July 2014

Lethal loom bands, children...

... and why we should blame the parents who want to ban them is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

*flicks band*

Wednesday, 9 July 2014

A video of Angelina Jolie on drugs...

... and why it's the most inspiring thing you'll see all day is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

WARNING: You'll be hungry for cake by the end.

Monday, 7 July 2014

The person who's become known as #magalufgirl...

... and why she's not the slut who should be ashamed is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

After which, you'll probably need a wash. I know I do.

Friday, 4 July 2014

4th July and Independence Day...

... is a steaming great pile of dung, and you can read why in today's Daily Mirror column here.

Have a nice weekend, no napalming anyone.

Monday, 30 June 2014

David Cameron's cool Britannia party...

... and why it's not very cool at all is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Enjoy.

Friday, 27 June 2014

'Slave labour' labels in Primark clothes...

... and why exactly it is we can't be bothered to do anything about it are in today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Sniff the capitalism.

Thursday, 26 June 2014

The true cost of the Queen and monarchy...

... and why Betty, 88, of Berkshire costs us far more than she lets on is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

You will probably need a drink afterwards.

Friday, 20 June 2014

Ed Miliband and Roy Hodgson...

... and why they should BOTH be sacked within a week is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

One out, all out. Etc.

Wednesday, 18 June 2014

Nigel Farage and Elle Macpherson...

... were born just four days apart yet look like there's 20 years between them. What does this tell us about genetics and lifestyle?

Find out in today's Daily Mirror column here and then put out that cigarette!

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Ivory poaching and international terrorism...

... are inextricably linked, mainly because bad and nasty criminals are involved in both.

But it is possible to stop both these bad and nasty things in one go, and you can learn how by clicking here and reading about how a Sunday Mirror-backed poaching patrol is saving lives in Burkina Faso.

And if you can please use the links at the bottom to donate - those rangers still need motorbikes and CB radios, and with them they'll be able to stop many more elephants being killed for their tusks.

Monday, 16 June 2014

The Zombie Coalition...

... and its big ideas for policies which all, er, seem to be law already are the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Banning slavery again? Good stuff!

Friday, 13 June 2014

Star Wars 7...

... and Harrison Ford crocking his ankle is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

May the forks be with you!

Thursday, 12 June 2014

Tony Blair, ISIL...

... and a rather sarcastic open letter from the people of Iraq is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

I'm off to wash everything.

Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Mel B on the X Factor...

... and why the fact she can't sing doesn't matter at all is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

*warbles off*