Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Wednesday, 2 September 2015

The badger cull...

... and why you're not allowed to question the sanity of it is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

You have to burn your hard drive after you've read it, by the way. Just in case.

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Jeremy Corbyn, women-only carriages...

... and why a Taliban-compliant train would be a very silly idea is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

All aboard!

Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Iain Duncan Smith, his disability reforms...

... and why we've seen something very similar before is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

There's a new comments section so you can express your outrage and everything.

Thursday, 20 August 2015

GCSEs, the migrant crisis...

... and why Britain's lost its decency is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I recommend a stiff gin for afterwards.

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

The Ashley Madison hack...

... and who you really ought to feel sorry for is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Enjoy the rest of your time online.

Monday, 17 August 2015

The Labour leadership battle...

... and how you're supposed to pick which one to vote for is the topic of today's column for the Daily  Mirror which you can despair over here.

I'm actually pretty glad I don't have to take part.

Friday, 14 August 2015

Extending the smoking ban to public places...

... and why it needs to be extended into people's homes and cars instead is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can get upset by and now comment on - whoo hoo! - here.

And yes, I'm serious.

Wednesday, 12 August 2015

Julian Assange...

... and just how long we have to wait for him to act like a decent human being is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

If you don't like it, I understand tinfoil is very comforting.

Monday, 10 August 2015

Running a marathon during your period...

... and why telling the world about it doesn't do much to stop oppressing anyone is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Men, may I suggest you think calming thoughts about carburettors.

Friday, 7 August 2015

Donald Trump, the White House...

... and why it's probably not a good idea for the two of them to ever meet is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Please send all redneck abuse c/o your mum.

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Noel Edmonds being utterly bonkers...

... and how I didn't even have to make up any of these jokes is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which, you've guessed it, you can read here.

Or you can order it from the cosmos and see if it's delivered by microwave.

Friday, 24 July 2015

Planet Kepler-452b...

... and why it might be better than Earth is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

PS it's true about Jeremy Hunt.

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Tony Blair, Jeremy Corbyn...

... and why neither of them would be any use to help Labour win power again is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

If only someone would do that to IDS.

Thursday, 16 July 2015

The MPs' pay rise...

... and what they might deserve it for is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Make sure you read it at a safe distance from other people, in case you punch anyone.

Wednesday, 15 July 2015

Oskar Groening...

... and why locking him up might not be the brightest thing we've ever done as a species is the topic of today's column which you can read here.

Lesen macht frei, whatever anyone else says.

Foxhunting and why David Cameron...

...  might want to bring it back is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can chase down with a pack of hounds and tear apart with your teeth right here.

Tally ho!

Getting Married At First Sight...

... and why it might be a better way of doing things is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which is not bitter, right, if you read it to the end and which is available here.

Honestly. Look the word up.

The 2015 budget and why George Osborne...

... can't do the sums on domestic abuse is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I have a horrible feeling I'm going to keep writing this one.

The Greek debt crisis...

... is explained simply so even David Cameron could understand it in today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Do the maths.

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

The heatwave...

... and how to cool down like a Tory is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

It's like sitting in a freezer, I tells you.