Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Friday, 23 January 2015

Prince Charles, Prince Andrew, King Abdullah...

... and why it might be time to remind the Royal Family we're the boss is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Long live the, er, anything that's better than this.

Thursday, 22 January 2015

The husband who tracks his wife via a phone app...

... and why that's probably not a good idea is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

The number for Relate, should anyone need it, is 0300 100 1234.

Monday, 19 January 2015

The mum who invoiced a boy for missing a birthday party...

... and why this 'twit tax' is almost - but not quite - a brilliant idea is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Mind how you go, now.

Friday, 16 January 2015

Islamic terrorism...

... and why it's not that Islamic, any more than Hitler was socialist, is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

If only Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi will read it...

Wednesday, 14 January 2015

A men-only political party...

... fighting against the terrible oppression of the male gender is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

If any dinosaurs would like to bellow their objections from the tar pits while meteors rain around them, feel free to comment.

Tuesday, 13 January 2015

Ken Morley, Charlie Hebdo...

... and why the terrorists can sit back and put their feet up because we're very happy to do their job for them is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Sleep well. *dark laugh*

Wednesday, 7 January 2015

The NHS crisis...

... and who's to blame is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Happy sodding New Year, and let's hope you don't get ill.

Tuesday, 6 January 2015

The New Year's Eve reveller who punched a woman...

... and why there's always someone to defend the indefensible is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Let's hope one day all little boys will grow up the way they're meant to.

Thursday, 1 January 2015

New Year resolutions...

... and how to make ones you can actually keep are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Happy 2015, everyone x

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

The alternative New Year's Honours list...

... which makes much more sense than the actual one is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Ho ho ho et cetera.

Monday, 22 December 2014

Nick Harvey backs the nuclear test veterans...

... in a massive boost for the campaign I've been running for the Sunday Mirror about the men who witnessed nuclear tests in the 1950s and now have children with TEN TIMES the normal rate of birth defects.

Read up on the latest developments here.

Iain Duncan Smith is bad for your health...

... and it's official. My story on how his Work Programme makes you mentally ill was in the Sunday Mirror and you can read it here.

Friday, 19 December 2014

Mad Friday...

... and why it's not humanity's finest hour is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I advise drinking at home tonight. Go out tomorrow.

Friday, 12 December 2014

Russell Brand on Question Time...

... and why David Dimbleby just did the nation a favour is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Rest easy in your beds tonight, humanity.

The Whitehall fatberg...

... and why sometimes journalism is just s*** is today's lesson and you can watch me up to my arse in the stuff here.

And, for the love of all that's holy, stop putting wet wipes down the loo.

Thursday, 11 December 2014

The CIA torture report...

... and what it really means is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Sleep well.

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Madonna's bare breasts...

... and why they're not shocking any more is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

That should titillate, anyway.

A Tory Advent Calendar...

... is the topic of today's column in the Daily Mirror, prepared for your delectation, and you can open it to see what they got you for Christmas here.

Only five months to go.

Monday, 1 December 2014

Black Friday, Star Wars, immigration...

... and why you might get the feeling you're being lied to is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

The force is strong in this one. Oh yes.

Friday, 14 November 2014

I'm A Celebrity, Michael Buerk...

... and why Ed Miliband or Kim Kardashian's bum would be a better booking than any of this year's line-up is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And I am NOT sorry about that picture.