Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Friday, 19 December 2014

Mad Friday...

... and why it's not humanity's finest hour is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I advise drinking at home tonight. Go out tomorrow.

Friday, 12 December 2014

Russell Brand on Question Time...

... and why David Dimbleby just did the nation a favour is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Rest easy in your beds tonight, humanity.

The Whitehall fatberg...

... and why sometimes journalism is just s*** is today's lesson and you can watch me up to my arse in the stuff here.

And, for the love of all that's holy, stop putting wet wipes down the loo.

Thursday, 11 December 2014

The CIA torture report...

... and what it really means is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Sleep well.

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Madonna's bare breasts...

... and why they're not shocking any more is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

That should titillate, anyway.

A Tory Advent Calendar...

... is the topic of today's column in the Daily Mirror, prepared for your delectation, and you can open it to see what they got you for Christmas here.

Only five months to go.

Monday, 1 December 2014

Black Friday, Star Wars, immigration...

... and why you might get the feeling you're being lied to is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

The force is strong in this one. Oh yes.

Friday, 14 November 2014

I'm A Celebrity, Michael Buerk...

... and why Ed Miliband or Kim Kardashian's bum would be a better booking than any of this year's line-up is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And I am NOT sorry about that picture.

Wednesday, 5 November 2014

Guy Fawkes, a bomb under Parliament...

... and what you might do if you met him there today are the topics of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

That'll put a rocket up 'em...

Monday, 3 November 2014

Griff Rhys Jones refusal to pay a possible mansion tax...

... and which low-tax countries he might prefer to live in are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And then we'll sit and wait for Griff to up sticks, shall we?

Friday, 31 October 2014

Hallowe'en, witches...

... And why you shouldn't be scared of them is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Have a happy Hllowe'en, all.

Monday, 27 October 2014

Michael Fallon reckons we're being "swamped"...

... and I'm not sure he realises what we're being swamped by. My column for the Daily Mirror today is here.

Undercover police having babies with protesters...

... and why that's not something worth suing over is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Use a johnny, folks.

Renee Zellweger's face...

... and why it says more about us than her is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

*squidges face up like a chipmunk*

Monday, 20 October 2014

The death of Lynda Bellingham...

... and why we should all be as lucky as her is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

But don't get depressed. Get angry.

Sunday, 19 October 2014

Britain's nuclear test veterans...

... and the continuing campaign to get the Ministry of Defence to admit what seems obvious to everyone else is the reason I'm posting this article from today's Sunday Mirror.

It reports that scientific research showing the veterans' children have 10 times the normal rate of birth defects has been accepted by peer review - but still denied by the MoD.

The men in Whitehall argue that standing under a nuclear bomb is absolutely harmless.

Yeah, right.

Friday, 17 October 2014

The Ched Evans rape case...

... and what's wrong with not saying sorry, whether it's rape or not, is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And if you don't like it, well, I'm sorry you feel that way!

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

A smoking ban for public parks...

... and why it would make much more sense to ban lots of other things that happen in public places is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can be entertained by here.

After which, you'll want to go and buy some weasels.

Monday, 13 October 2014

The NHS strike...

... and why even our nurses can't be bothered to fix what's broken is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can fume over here.

Then why not tell yourself it's not your problem?

Friday, 10 October 2014

What happens when you vote UKIP...

... and why it's something no-one's thought through is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Sleep well, y'all.