Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Friday, 13 February 2015

50 Shades of Grey, Valentine's Day...

... and why it means romance is finally dead is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I hope there's hope!

Monday, 9 February 2015

The fashion BAFTAs...

... and what happens when men turn up to the red carpet all wearing the exact same thing is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

*smiles confidently*

Friday, 6 February 2015

Myleene Klass, middle class parents...

... and why we ought to stop them breeding is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And if you'd like to complain to someone about it, I wish you the best of luck!

Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Sex education for five year olds...

... and why it might be the best thing adults could ever do for them is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And if you don't like it, you're the one who needs it most.

Tuesday, 3 February 2015

The lies of David Cameron...

... and why we don't *have* to let them get away with it, just because Ed is rubbish, is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And in case you can't be bothered to read to the end: REMEMBER TO VOTE.

Friday, 30 January 2015

Kim Sears swearing...

... and why we should all be ****ing grateful for it is the topic of today's column for the ****ing Daily Mirror and you can read it here.

****ing have that, you **** ****s, and have a nice weekend.

Thursday, 29 January 2015

Alexander Litvinenko...

... and Britain's disgraceful record of radiation poisoning of its nuclear test veterans is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And yes, it's true.

Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Jeremy Clarkson, the BBC...

... and which of them is in the wrong when an idiot is accused of racism is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And no, I don't want him sacked. Read it first, yeah?

Friday, 23 January 2015

Prince Charles, Prince Andrew, King Abdullah...

... and why it might be time to remind the Royal Family we're the boss is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Long live the, er, anything that's better than this.

Thursday, 22 January 2015

The husband who tracks his wife via a phone app...

... and why that's probably not a good idea is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

The number for Relate, should anyone need it, is 0300 100 1234.

Monday, 19 January 2015

The mum who invoiced a boy for missing a birthday party...

... and why this 'twit tax' is almost - but not quite - a brilliant idea is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Mind how you go, now.

Friday, 16 January 2015

Islamic terrorism...

... and why it's not that Islamic, any more than Hitler was socialist, is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

If only Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi will read it...

Wednesday, 14 January 2015

A men-only political party...

... fighting against the terrible oppression of the male gender is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

If any dinosaurs would like to bellow their objections from the tar pits while meteors rain around them, feel free to comment.

Tuesday, 13 January 2015

Ken Morley, Charlie Hebdo...

... and why the terrorists can sit back and put their feet up because we're very happy to do their job for them is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Sleep well. *dark laugh*

Wednesday, 7 January 2015

The NHS crisis...

... and who's to blame is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Happy sodding New Year, and let's hope you don't get ill.

Tuesday, 6 January 2015

The New Year's Eve reveller who punched a woman...

... and why there's always someone to defend the indefensible is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Let's hope one day all little boys will grow up the way they're meant to.

Thursday, 1 January 2015

New Year resolutions...

... and how to make ones you can actually keep are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Happy 2015, everyone x

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

The alternative New Year's Honours list...

... which makes much more sense than the actual one is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Ho ho ho et cetera.

Monday, 22 December 2014

Nick Harvey backs the nuclear test veterans...

... in a massive boost for the campaign I've been running for the Sunday Mirror about the men who witnessed nuclear tests in the 1950s and now have children with TEN TIMES the normal rate of birth defects.

Read up on the latest developments here.

Iain Duncan Smith is bad for your health...

... and it's official. My story on how his Work Programme makes you mentally ill was in the Sunday Mirror and you can read it here.