Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Friday, 2 December 2016

The football abuse scandal, Chelsea's £50,000 gagging contract...

... and why football's dirty little secret is finally out is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I await the Chelsea fans with interest.

Wednesday, 30 November 2016

Cheryl Tweedy Cole Ferenandez-Versini thingummybob...

... and why not talking about your pregnancy guarantees everyone else will is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And no, I'm not being cynical. Just realistic.

Monday, 28 November 2016

Ed Balls last tango on Strictly...

... and why he made 2016 worth living through is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I'm off for a howl.

Friday, 25 November 2016

Tony Blair's return...

... and why we might actually really need him is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you may fume over here.

Wednesday, 23 November 2016

The Autumn Statement, Philip Hammond...

... and all the things he didn't tell you are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And no, I won't apologise for the end bit.

Monday, 21 November 2016

Secret cuts to the NHS...

... and the not-so secret cuts you haven't minded in the least are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read and be infuriated by here.

People, eh? Funny bunch.

Friday, 18 November 2016

Cryogenic freezing, Donald Trump...

... and why if we don't freeze him we'll have to face up to fascism is the topic of today's incredibly-cheery column for the Daily Mirror which you can scream hate at me for here.

Let's just hope I'm not right, hey?

Wednesday, 16 November 2016

Facebook fake stories and Donald Trump...

... are the topics of today's column for the Daily Mirror, which you almost certainly won't like, and can dislike strongly about here.

And yes, I do it too.

Friday, 11 November 2016

Donald Trump, draining the swamp...

... and why we might well need to nuke the planet from orbit is the topic of today's rather annoyed column for the Daily Mirror which you can gnash your teeth over here.

It's all right. The cretins are obviously the other guys.

Wednesday, 9 November 2016

President Trump, the White House...

... and why Michelle Obama will be back inside it sooner than you realise is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Honestly. You wait and see.

Monday, 7 November 2016

Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton...

... and why our American cousins need to remember who they're voting for is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I wonder if they will?

Friday, 4 November 2016

The Brexit mess, the High Court...

... and why everything's doing EXACTLY what it should part from us is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And yes, you DO have to vote at the end.

Wednesday, 2 November 2016

The 11 things we can expect from President Trump...

... are the horrifying topics of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Imagine it. As hard as you can.

Monday, 31 October 2016

Hillary Clinton might be a witch!

Because she seeks power and we ALL know that means she's a tool of Satan, right? That's the topic of today's Hallowe'en column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Don't forget to vote!

Friday, 28 October 2016

World War 3, Syria, ISIS...

... and why "standing back" while Russia does its thing isn't really na option when we've been at war since 1992 is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read, if you're brave enough, here.

The video at the end should cheer you up.

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Witches, Hallowe'en...

... and why every little girl should dress in a pointy hat this weekend is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And any Christians who don't like it can go and boil their head.

Monday, 24 October 2016

Princess Beatrice and her sister Eugenie...

... apparently need work to do, so the 9 jobs even they should be able to manage are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

They won't send me to the tower for it, I've written far worse.

Friday, 21 October 2016

Gary Lineker, lies about migrants...

... and just who stands to gain the most from telling them is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I  know who I'd rather play football with.

Monday, 17 October 2016

Little Mix on the X Factor...

... and the real reason they're taking their clothes off is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Friday, 14 October 2016

Kumbuka the escaped gorilla...

... and why he is not the most terrifying creature in the world is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which is available here.

And no, I'm not sorry.