Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Monday, 8 February 2016

David Cameron's prison reforms...

... and why he perhaps ought to be in one himself is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

While we wait, enjoy the inevitable crime wave he's sending your way.

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Baby first aid...

... and the 11 ways your child is going to try to kill itself is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And then have a gin, while you still can.

Monday, 1 February 2016

The House of Lords and why it should be reformed...

... by us, rather than the politicians, is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And then we shall just sit and wait for them to offer us ermine, won't we?

Friday, 29 January 2016

The new plus-sized Barbie...

... and why she's a silly idea is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

So far, I'm the only person who actually bothered to have a Skipper doll.

Wednesday, 27 January 2016

The Bedroom Tax, Google's tax...

... and why Britain is more corrupt than most people realise is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Then you'll probably want a wash.

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

Stranded sperm whales and human evolution...

... is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

The responses so far seem to be backing the "two new species theory". You have been warned.

Friday, 22 January 2016

The rats of Westminster...

... and the trouble they get up to gnawing through the wires that hold the place together is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

So long as the Men in Black haven't deleted everything, of course.

Wednesday, 20 January 2016

Sarah Palin, Donald Trump...

... and why they're not the Americans you need to worry about in the presidential race is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And no, Bigfoot isn't real.

Monday, 18 January 2016

David Cameron's lessons for Muslim mums...

... and why it might actually make new terrorists for us all to enjoy is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Can I suggest you remind yourself to go and vote, next time you get the chance?

Friday, 15 January 2016

The Queen's 90th birthday party...

... and why paying £150 a head to attend is quite reasonable, really, if you see it from her point of view is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

You'll be disinvited if you do, but you'll also have saved yourself £150.

Wednesday, 13 January 2016

A £33million lottery win...

... and 9 ways to splash all that cash without losing your mind is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And yes, we can all dream!

Friday, 8 January 2016

New alcohol guidelines...

... and why you might as well have a drink rather than follow them are the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read, if your're sober enough, here.

And no, I'm not explaining about the Jagermeister.

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

North Korea's nuclear bomb, Kim Jong Un...

... and why you need to worry more about Donald Trump's hairdresser is the topic of today's thermonuclear Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Don't be scared. Be ANGRY.

Monday, 4 January 2016

New Year resolutions...

... and the only seven that are worth making and keeping are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read, unless you've resolved not to, here.

And remember - DO NOT DESPAIR.

Tuesday, 29 December 2015

The Foxy Honours List...

... culminating in who wins Twat of the Year is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read, if you can spare the time in your busy festive schedule, here.

Perhaps the most worrying part of the whole thing is that it was all TOTALLY AVOIDABLE.

Thursday, 17 December 2015

What's the point of going to space?

... asks Simon Jenkins of the Guardian. Who won't bother to read about all the things space travel has given humanity, and which you can learn about in today's Daily Mirror column here.

Waste of money, indeed. Pchaw.

Wednesday, 16 December 2015

Tim Peake going to space...

... and why it needs to be more British is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read, in zero gravity or otherwise, here.

And yes, I am serious that the lack of a kettle on the ISS is a serious flaw that needs fixing.

Monday, 14 December 2015

The new Star Wars movie The Force Awakens...

... and why it's all been done better already by Star Trek is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read, at warp speed or in hyperdrive, here.

And yes, I'm quite serious.

Friday, 11 December 2015

Christmas office parties...

... and how to fox them up properly is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I missed out the bit where you walk into work next day like a gladiator, but take it as read.

The office Christmas party...

.. and how to boss it like a professional is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And yes, I've tried the alternatives and they were a bad idea.