Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Monday, 16 January 2017

Blue Monday...

... and the reasons why you should all be a lot more happy about things is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Now CHEER UP!

Friday, 13 January 2017

The cold weather...

... and why it's worse than you think is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

It costs £22.32 to get someone off the streets. To donate to Crisis, click here.

Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Donald Trump, Watersportsgate...

... and how filthy dirty people can be is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you may be appalled by here.

And no, I'm not making it up.

Monday, 9 January 2017

Meryl Streep's Golden Globes speech...

... and why it proved we NEED Donald Trump is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Tell me I'm wrong. Dare ya.

Friday, 6 January 2017

Snowflakes...

... and why it would be nice if humans weren't so narcissistic and daft is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you won't like at all and can be read here.

I think it's rubbing off, because it took me four goes to spell 'narcissistic' and I wanted to let you know about it. ARGH.

Wednesday, 4 January 2017

Lily Allen, Tommy Robinson...

.. and why she's right and he's NOT called Tommy is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can be annoyed by, especially if you're a white male, here.

I am looking forward to the comments ALREADY.

Friday, 30 December 2016

New Year's resolutions...

... and why we're doing them all wrong is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Enjoy what remains of 2016 - and remember, New Year's Eve is amateur night. Go boozing on January 1 instead if you can. Easier to get served.

Wednesday, 28 December 2016

The curse of 2016...

... and why 2017 is going to be much worse if you can't figure this stuff out is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Three weeks left.

Thursday, 22 December 2016

Anis Amri, Angela Merkel...

... and why you're not being told the truth about the Berlin Christmas market terror attack is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And yes, it's the truth. Why wouldn't it be?

Wednesday, 21 December 2016

The carnage of 2016 and Katie Price's latest meltdown...

... are the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which is all about why things can only get better, and you can read it here.

Goodbye 2016, and f*** off.

Monday, 19 December 2016

Where the Labour Party is going wrong...

... and why it probably won't listen to its own listening exercise is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can gnash your teeth at here.

I despair, really I do.

Friday, 16 December 2016

The nasty Tory party...

... and how it's nastier now even than it was in Maggie Thatcher's heyday is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Enjoy Christmas.

Wednesday, 14 December 2016

Amir Khan, Faryal Makhdoom...

... and why their family rows - and yours - are best kept on simmer at Christmas are the topic for today's Daily Mirror column which, as ever, you can read here.

It's Kieran Hayler I feel sorry for.

Monday, 12 December 2016

Theresa May's trousers...

... and why they're a more serious problem than anyone realises yet is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And you may have Trexit for free.

Monday, 5 December 2016

Article 50, the Supreme Court, Brexit...

... and why it doesn't all mean what you might have been told it means is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Enjoy the GIFs.

Friday, 2 December 2016

The football abuse scandal, Chelsea's £50,000 gagging contract...

... and why football's dirty little secret is finally out is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I await the Chelsea fans with interest.

Wednesday, 30 November 2016

Cheryl Tweedy Cole Ferenandez-Versini thingummybob...

... and why not talking about your pregnancy guarantees everyone else will is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And no, I'm not being cynical. Just realistic.

Monday, 28 November 2016

Ed Balls last tango on Strictly...

... and why he made 2016 worth living through is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I'm off for a howl.

Friday, 25 November 2016

Tony Blair's return...

... and why we might actually really need him is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you may fume over here.

Wednesday, 23 November 2016

The Autumn Statement, Philip Hammond...

... and all the things he didn't tell you are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And no, I won't apologise for the end bit.