Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Wednesday, 27 April 2016

Beyonce, her new album Lemonade...

... and why she's making lemons out of us all is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Can't believe I even needed to say it, but still.

Monday, 25 April 2016

Philip Green, BHS...

... and how many luxury yachts is enough luxury yachts is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I'd be happy with just the one, wouldn't you?

Wednesday, 20 April 2016

Cheryl Tweedy Cole Fernandez-Versini Whatever...

... and why you don't want to change your name when you get married is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read, whatever you're called, here.

Honestly, it's a right old faff.

Monday, 18 April 2016

Childbirth...

... and why it's worse and better than I imagined is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

*retires to her rubber ring*

Monday, 4 April 2016

The Panama Leaks, David Cameron...

... and why it's up to us to find a way to stop bears pooping in the woods is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Because the bears sure as hell aren't going to do it, are they?

Thursday, 31 March 2016

Donald Trump, abortion...

... and why he gets to tell me what to do with my uterus on the same day I get to slam his balls in a car door is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And yes, Jesus IS on my side in this one.

Wednesday, 30 March 2016

America and why its people are so stupid...

... is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Unless you're American, in which case you'd probably rather not.

Tuesday, 29 March 2016

Argentina, the Falkland Islands...

... and why those rocks in the South Atlantic are better off British is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

*hums Rule Britannia*

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

The Brussels terror attacks...

... and why atrocities make us behave atrociously is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I'm off for some fresh air.

Friday, 18 March 2016

Jamie Oliver, breast feeding...

... and why he ought to wind his neck in and get back to the kitchen is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Please send all neonatal Nazi comments c/o your mum.

Monday, 14 March 2016

Top Gear, Chris Evans...

... and why he might just be even more stupid than Jeremy Clarkson is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Dearie me.

Friday, 11 March 2016

Douglas Adams, the Hitchhiker's Guide and the EU referendum...

... have all been crashed together to make something that looks a bit like today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Remember: 42.

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

International Women's Day...

... and an open letter to my unborn daughter are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Poor little scrap. Being monetised already.

Monday, 7 March 2016

Prince William, Kate Middleton...

... and why we secretly love a total lack of equality is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I know, I won't be made a dame any time soon. Somehow I think I'll cope.

Friday, 4 March 2016

Iain Duncan Smith's raging hypocrisy...

... and why both sides in the EU referendum are as hateful as each other is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Perhaps Kim will let us move to North Korea.

Wednesday, 2 March 2016

The reasons why Donald Trump is helping Hillary Clinton...

... and why we should all be so glad he's doing so well after Super Tuesday is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Pip, pip!

Tuesday, 1 March 2016

If Donald Trump wins Super Tuesday...

... and makes it to the White House, these are the policies he'll be taking with him. I wrote a thing for our new national newspaper The New Day on how The Donald will run the world and you can read it by clicking here.

Then, I suggest, you'll be wanting a bunker of some sort.

Friday, 26 February 2016

Donald Trump really WILL make America great again...

... and I can prove it here, in today's Daily Mirror column.

And it's not even that sarcastic, considering! Have a nice weekend.

Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Commuters, rush hour...

... and combining the two with pregnancy is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

No really, don't get up. I can see you're busy with your phone.

Monday, 22 February 2016

The EU referendum, Boris Johnson...

... and why it's all funnier than anyone realises is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And no, I'm NOT joking.