Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Friday, 22 July 2011

Face, meet palm.

POSH Spice has designed a new handbag which comes with two things no-one really wants.

The first is a pricetag of £8,995, and the second is a handwritten note from Posh which probably says: "HA HA HA SUKKER!"

There are only a limited number of people in the world who have both that kind of money to waste and the inversely proportionate number of brain cells you would need to make the purchase. They would also need the taste and style for which Marlene out of Only Fools And Horses was renowned in order to find a white crocodile skin handbag with a gold chain remotely desirable.

That said, idiots exist and the limited number of bags Selfridge's were able to get before Posh's writing arm got a bit tired will probably fly off the shelves. But here's a quick list of what you could get if you had the same money, and slightly more good sense:

  • 14,991 jam doughnuts
  • 8,995 lottery tickets
  • 300 slightly less tacky handbags from Primark
  • A shitload of books
  • One years' tuition fees at a top university 
  • Two bunionectomies
  • A week of 5* luxury in the Maldives
  • Three hours of David Beckham's time

I know which of them I'd be spending the money on.

Yum.