Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Thursday, 26 July 2012

Bloody women.

IT'S my fault, I know.

Everything is my fault. It must be because, you see, I'm female.

So if a man wants to buy sex from me, I'm more likely to be convicted of an offence than he is. If I want to work and have a baby, I'm the one being selfish and causing problems for everyone else.

If I am raped, it's probably because I got drunk or wore the wrong clothes. If I am hit by my partner, it's because I was too stupid to leave. And don't forget that if a man is interested in me when he shouldn't be, that would be my fault for making him fancy me.

Whether he's married or I'm married, or either of us are single, it will be down to the woman if there's a fling or an affair. It will not matter which of the parties is cleverest, richest, or what the deeper reasons are - the woman is a siren, luring nice men to their doom.

When Jeremy Clarkson decided to injunct his ex-wife over a book she was writing about herself in which she claimed they had an affair after he remarried, she was said to be 'cashing in' and was personally threatened by the court with jail time, a fine and loss of her home.

When Kate Rothschild had a fling, which she and husband Ben Goldsmith tweeted all about, she was called a whore and a bad mother, and had threatening emails and phone calls. She wrote to the trolls: "This is the darkest time of my life and a weaker woman would be broken by your cruel, ignorant condemnations."

Even when sex is not involved, people assume it sort of secretly is. When Neil Heywood was allegedly poisoned over his business dealings in China and a woman called Gu Kilai was said to have confessed, it stopped being about business deals and started being linked to a possible affair.

And now an actress called Kristen Stewart, who has a boyfriend, has been seen kissing a man called Rupert Sanders, who has a wife and family. And it's all Kristen's fault.

There have been death threats, grief, outraged fans, abuse about her acting ability, questions of her intelligence, she's been called a home-wrecker and has now issued one of the most grovelling and heartfelt public apologies I think I've ever seen.

Kristen Stewart is 22. That might seem really old and grown up if you're a teenaged fan of her and boyfriend Robert Pattinson's appearances in the Twilight film saga, but it's a relative baby when you consider she'll probably live to over 80.

She's been famous since she was 12, and really famous since 2007 when she was signed up for the Twilight films. Since she was 19 she's been dating her co-star and they've been infantilised by their fans as having the same intense first-love as their on-screen characters.

They've been christened K-Stew and R-Patz, and if that weren't nauseating enough together they are 'Robsten' because they are one perfect unit rather than individuals or ordinary, flawed human beings capable of duff decisions and a desire to spread their wings.

Kristen is also the highest-paid actress in Hollywood, taking home £22million so far this year thanks to a canny share in the film rights and despite not being the kind of celebrity who trills about her love-life in magazines, poses in her kecks, cuts her body up or otherwise prostitutes herself in return for attention and money.

For the past year or more she's been working on a new film and touring the world for its premieres, which is more of a slog than it sounds, and somewhere along the line actress and director got too close. They were seen meeting for what used to be called some heavy petting behind a disused building in LA.

Kristen has been stupid, she's done what most 22-year-old girls would in the presence of a 41-year-old, handsome, admiring male, and while she's caused her share of the hurt to his wife it's the stupid, cheating, lying male who deserves most of the blame.

The director is old enough to know better. He has made promises to his wife he should stick to until she releases him from them, his children are going to hear all about it, and if anyone led anyone else astray it was almost certainly him doing the tempting when you consider he was dealing with a girl barely out of her teens who's been watched, controlled, directed and otherwise told what to do for 10 years and probably leapt at the first chance to do something wild. I'm surprised it took her this long.

But blaming men for anything other than being slave to their genitals is really difficult to do - even when we see there were two sides to it we still apportion the majority of badness to the female rather than the male. We're all taught from an early age 'they can't help it' and that it's up to women to act responsibly if men aren't to stray from the right path.

My own marriage ended - as far as the court was concerned - because my husband had an affair with another woman, so I have spent a fair chunk of time blaming her for the hurt, selfishness, desperation, and lies which were involved. And after a while I came to realise she may very well have been thick and unkind but she wasn't the one who'd broken any promises - she had merely believed in him, like I once had, and all she deserved from me was passing sympathy.

As such I've not as much time for Kristen Stewart as much as I do the poor man's wife sitting at home filled with tears and snot and pain. She has at least apologised, although I wonder if she'd have come to her senses as quickly had her behaviour not been splashed across a US magazine. But it's the husband who should be scared to Google himself, not her.

I do not know where this urge we all have to blame the female or her love-life for things that go wrong - whether it's arguments in Thatcher's cabinet or a celebrity fling - comes from, but I can't help thinking it's not a million miles away from creation stories claiming Eve tempted Adam with the apple and as punishment her daughters were condemned to bleed for perpetuity.

Never mind that men and women are equally capable of being horrid and doing rotten things, never mind we don't know the gender of the snake or what was going through the mind of the alleged Almighty when he put juicy apples inexplicably out of bounds.

No, inquiring women reasonably questioning the received wisdom of what's right and wrong will be damned for all time because for some reason that's seen as unnatural, even though we've been doing it forever.

We are unclean. We must atone, forever.

And a women who is not content with that - even though discontent causes people to strive and improve the world around them - will find it is best to keep that dirty little secret to herself.

If you cut me, do I not bleed?

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

I could not have put it better myself. Well done.

Emma said...

Spot. On.

Anonymous said...

Very good column.I remember a priggish older woman saying to me that there would be no bad men if there wasn't any bad women.

Would love your thoughts too on what Eamoln Holmes asked a victim of domestic violence this morning.

Anfieldspirit said...

Good piece Foxy - apparently it's Sanders not Sanderson in the Stewart affair...........

Anonymous said...

No offence but most of the article above is about celebrities. I and most MEN don't care about what celebrity is shagging what tart or vice versa. You only have to look at the sales of crap like Heat magazine to see the obsession.

The comments about rape and violence are very valid but mixed in with the z list obsession of tabloids is a waste.

The Daily Fail is today moaning that women and girls are obsessed about their weight, yet that very same paper and website runs 100 stories about z list celebs and their weight or body issues every day. And who writes most of this crap? women.

Please don't mix up serious social issues with the media bollocks about people 99.9% of us don't give a shit about.

Edwin Thuku said...

Nice piece, until the last paragraph! The BIBLE never mentions any apples, or the fact that they were juicy.... and both of them were punished!

Matt said...

Not sure this case can be treated as the 'norm'.

For starters the fans of 'R-Patz' aren't your regular level headed people. They love him with a passion and gave 'Miss Emotion' a lot of insults when she started going out with him. Now she has done this they feel justified in their hatred. (see also Bieber fans and they woman who called pregnancy). Female fans of anyone seem to be the scariest.

The 41 year old man is not that well known nor cared about so isn't the focus of the story. (Although he should be for being a bit creepy).

On the flip side though, you only have to look at the Cruise/Holmes to see the positives given to women. I don't think I've seen any bad news pieces about her on leaving the relationship only positives.

Although, through all this which genders media (eg magazines) is focused on the pain and suffering of these things? Womens magazines would not survive without the bitchiness and gossip of celebrities, especially women and their imperfections.

Julian Hall said...

Good piece! For a perfect example of how both sexes can be equally vile, look no further than Josef and Magda Goebbels. Him for obvious reasons, her for poisoning her own children in a death pact with Josef.

Julian Hall said...

However, contrast my last comment with Mother Theresa v Mahatma Gandhi. Both sexes capable of incredible good.

Anonymous said...

the tree of knowledge of good or evil,what other knowledge exists,Without the apple we would be swinging from the trees

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately Fleetstreetfox has a habit of mixing in her obsession with z list garbage and proper social issues which I think is a shame. Some dopey tart having an affair with some thick male celeb then falling foul of his pathetic female fanbase is NOT the same as a woman being physically abused in a relationship.

I often hate the way things like this can be spun in a political way rather than proper reporting.

As an example, a while back the BBC I think it was ran a story that claimed that some 'hard up students' were turning to prostitution to make ends meet. Of course we never got told the obvious thing, that would be FEMALE students turning to prostitution? So what were male students doing to make ends meet? Get a part time job perhaps? We were never told, because the BBC wanted to spin the story as a typical nasty Tories making women turn to prostitution.

Very easy to spin a story in a way that makes it look very different to perhaps the truth, that 'some' female students thought doing a bit of 'extra work' was an easy way to make a few quid instead of getting a proper job.

I then ask the question, just who is being exploited in this case? And no I'm not making that claim that all women go into prostitution just to make a bit of cash, just in that in this particular case the story was spun in a way that probably didn't reflect the truth or explain the real reasons behind it.

I read a few of Fleetstreetfoxes blogs, sometimes she's very good and makes some excellent points, but other times she goes of on one about celebs and shagging stories that really are not worth the time of day.

Please stick to the good stuff and leave the chav shite to Heat

Anonymous said...

Google and read Christopher Hitchin's article on Mother Theresa. She was not a good person.

Anonymous said...

I do enjoy FSF's blogs and often agree with her but there's a tendency to keep going on about how bad men are: exploiting women, causing all the world's problems and how women would be better off without them; maybe she could write something positive for a change. It's very easy to criticise and point out all the crap that's going on, but harder to find the good things or so it seems. Come one Foxy, start being more positive!

Sean Graham said...

In cases like these involving celebrities, opinion (especially online) will always primarily come from who the individual likes best. Rational thought and facts are thrown out the window. You have to look no further than the legions of Chris Brown fans who demonise Rihanna!

Foxy said...

A) saying men and women are equally capable of bad behaviour does not mean men are more bad;

B) didn't you read yesterday's blog? Positivity galore.

Sabbotage said...

Great piece Foxy! It takes two to tango, and everything I've read is pointing fingers at Kristen Stewart. Perhaps the man with a wife and two kids should have thought about his part in it also.

Alex said...

"I do not know where this urge we all have to blame the female or her love-life for things that go wrong..."

I've only read two of fleet street fox's blog posts - this one and the Cheryl Cole one. I thought that was a particularly mean spirited piece and whilst not exactly on the same point it contains a good deal of the type of vitriol complained of here. I don't see how the two can be squared.

LucyMoose said...

Aaah yes, it's always twisted back to the women, and because we are generally too bloody nice, or can't be arsed to have a fight with a moronic man we go yes OK, because we can deal with it all better, and they get off again..*sigh*
Great piece by the way

Anonymous said...

Um you will find those who stick the knife into women are mostly ....other women.

Anonymous said...

Ai). But you don't come across as saying this

Bi). Yes, it was great, more please.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, didn't know she was having an affair, and in fact was not sure who she was until it was explained. Boy is my finger not on the pulse!

Anonymous said...

I think this "Foxy" get it all wrong.....She ask why the women or female have carry all the burden.. Im not saying they should, BUT the most part, I believe they have to.. Why?... Cause She left that to happen!!!, and I truly believe that she want that to happen...we are not talking about rape or violence here...For example, Thousands of women go to bars, their jobs or public places where they find guys that try to hit on them, all the time BUT that doesn't mean that just cause they do that, the girl are gonna sleep with they, right?... In the end the women is the one who decides... This Foxy excuses kristen out of hand, just cause she is 22 years old, c'mom!! seriously?... First of all, she already cheat in a "ex", Second she already played the lover of a guy who is married in a movie... Rob and Her talk about commitment and honesty in their relationship.. She meet the wife!!!, cause she work with her... I mean the Guy could try anything to try to get her, BUT unless she let it happen, he couldnt do a thing... Just think about it... Use the commons sense... This movie was the BIG break for this guy, U think that he could be so creepy that he set up her wife and lover to work together for the fun of it?.. Now, he could try to flirt with kristen BUT we are not talking about just somebody, we are talking about a HUGE celebrity, IF he would try to do that, and she wasn't ok about it, she could ruin his short career, marriage and reputation cause she is Famous!!! I really believe that the one who start this whole thing was her... why? cause that stupid EGO of winning to another women, thats why I always said that the worst enemy of a women are the women...


Just think about this...If u would try to have an affair with somebody, but u are a married person, u would say that the best way to do this is if you introduce her to ur wife and make both of them work together? I never heard of this kind of technique to conquer a girl, but If she fall for this guy after this, what this said about the kind of person Kristen is?.... I mean clearly the guy never thought in having an affair before the movie, but the things and I truly believe that Kristen was the one who took the lead on this...

Foxy said...

Wow. Well, that's me convinced. BURN THE WITCH.

Anonymous said...

Is it just me who thinks the commenter above is quite blatantly either a woman scorned or a man who has used this excuse to justify an affair?
Idiot.

Anonymous said...

Maybe that's a reaction to the *rest* of the world saying that women are evil and that they're too blame for everything... Maybe bringing some balance to the table?

Just saying.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful example of exactly the kind of ignorant, pig-headed misogyny Foxy was talking about. Thanks for illustrating that so perfectly in such semi-articulate terms.

dartacus said...

I've never seen such levels of ellipsis abuse before in my entire life. That in and of itself invalidates his point. Was there chewing gum stuck under the full stop key?

G

Anonymous said...

This Foxy got it all wrong... U point it out something that is truth... U need 2 for tango... Thats why I truly believe that was Kristen and not the Director who started this affair, why?... Answer me this: If a guy would try to hit on you, u think that the best way to do this is if he introduces his wife to you? and also make u work with her? Like, "hey.. this is my wife... u would like to hook up with me?" I mean what kind of person would accept that... If he would want to have an affair with Kristen he would never introduce her to her wife or make it work with her, thats just common sense.... Now, he probably could try to flirt with her... BUT if she would show from the start that she wasn't ok about this, she would stop him.. I mean she is a HUGE celebrity, she could ruin his career, marriage, reputation and maybe he could go to jail or get sued... He knows this... so he would not be risk this UNLESS she was the one that would lead him to know that this was ok... What girl doesn't go to a bar, public place or her job and someone try to hit on her... and u just stop him? ... I mean just a couple of months ago a guy with I worked got fired cause a girl accuse him of sexual harassment just cause he said something offensive to her... and she is not famous as Kristen, so dont tell me is mostly his fault... and not in this country.

Anonymous said...

Its all wrong... In this country where if some regular guy just said something sexual or offensive, or try to flirt with girl and she is not ok with this, he could end getting fired or in jail... I mean seriously??... She meet the wife, work with her, and STILL want to have the affair.. what this tell u about Kristen?... I mean, for all we know, he never lied to her, she knew he was married and probably that he got kids..... So she knew in what she was getting into... and like I said probably she was the one who start all this...

Sword of Truth said...

Do you have a friend that likes to shoot goats by any chance? or are you just another brainless nutter attempting to write a barely literate comment to a well written intelligent article by a super intelligent sexy woman.

Anonymous said...

Great article, well said.
C

Anonymous said...

Yep, just you. Idiot.

Anonymous said...

Everyone should read it. She's been a 'saint' for far too long.

Anonymous said...

Z-list? Dopey tart? She's the highest paid actress in the world. What does someone have to do to impress you?

Anonymous said...

He's not a fan of Gandhi either

Anonymous said...

Well, it's definitely school holidays, but come on Foxy, please direct your writing skills at more interesting fare. Who gives a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut about which celeb is shagging which other celeb, whose "fault" it is and who or why they are being demonised. The whole "celebrity" culture is sickening and is eating away at genuine ambition and worth ethic.

Anonymous said...

You're right. Life experience of millions of women proves it. Loads of men hate women. They hate us enough to blame us for everything, even things they do.
It's the man next door, the man opposite us in the cafe, the man driving past with his window down, it is absolutely, positively, definitely the footballer, it's the overweight Irishman on daytime tv.
Yesterday on national daytime tv, during the kids' holidays, Eamonn Holmes, the renowned chauvinist, asked a lady whose husband had subjected her to years of psychological and emotional abuse, including a form of waterboarding, as well as physical violence whether she had "done anything do deserve the jealousy?"
What the hell Eamonn Holmes? Have you no compassion or human sympathy? Do you hate womankind so much that the first thing you do when you encounter a victim of unspeakable cruelty is try and blame her for it?
Vile, woman-hating misogynist. You're talking to a woman whose husband pinned her down and BIT OFF HER NOSE and you try to see how it was her fault.
Even the man presenting daytime tv hates women. Women haters are everywhere. They are hidden amongst decent men who respect fellow human beings, irrespective of whether they have a vagina.

P.S. Eamonn Holmes is a victim-blaming, woman-hating, backwards, bigoted, misogynist. He has a back catalogue of it.

Anonymous said...

Splendid piece. You're absolutely right,
It TAKES TWO TO TANGO.
Yet it's always the woman who is blamed.
A man with responsibility to a wife and his two children shags a barely more than teenage girl and somehow she is to blame.
He is twice her age.
He stepped out on his family and his marriage. He is to blame for both of those things. He did it.
He disrespected his wife. He thought so little of his wife and children that he lied to them.
He jeopardised his children's stability. He jeopardised children's happiness.
She is 22 and shagged someone else, whilst having a boyfriend, they're in their early 20s.... that's what immature 22 year olds do.
What he did was so so much worse.

Anonymous said...

Excellent point, well put and superbly written, personally I don't give a hoot who or what Kristen Stuart has affairs with but he made the marriage vows and he broke them. It's absolutely time to stop laying the blame squarely at the woman's feet every time a middle aged man can't behave himself.

Anonymous said...

Wow you really do have a female victim complex. The impression that men are never seen as the guilty party is so deluded it is beyond laughable. I hope one day you get over this, asit really can't be good for you.

Anonymous said...

Only a woman would write so much about such a boring topic...

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