Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Friday, 26 February 2016

Donald Trump really WILL make America great again...

... and I can prove it here, in today's Daily Mirror column.

And it's not even that sarcastic, considering! Have a nice weekend.

Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Commuters, rush hour...

... and combining the two with pregnancy is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

No really, don't get up. I can see you're busy with your phone.

Monday, 22 February 2016

The EU referendum, Boris Johnson...

... and why it's all funnier than anyone realises is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And no, I'm NOT joking.

Friday, 19 February 2016

David Cameron, the EU...

... and why there are 10 more important and interesting things he should be demanding in treaty negotiations are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

At a guess, I'd say I made only half of it up.

Wednesday, 17 February 2016

Animal cruelty...

... and why we don't punish it properly or sometimes at all is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

After which, you'll need to cuddle the nearest pet and apologise.

Monday, 15 February 2016

The new James Bond...

... and why, if the world was doing right, it really ought to be Nigel Farage is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

You KNOW I'm right.

Friday, 12 February 2016

Jeremy Hunt's war on the NHS...

... is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

After which you will need a tin helmet and immunity from disease.

Monday, 8 February 2016

David Cameron's prison reforms...

... and why he perhaps ought to be in one himself is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

While we wait, enjoy the inevitable crime wave he's sending your way.

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Baby first aid...

... and the 11 ways your child is going to try to kill itself is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And then have a gin, while you still can.

Monday, 1 February 2016

The House of Lords and why it should be reformed...

... by us, rather than the politicians, is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And then we shall just sit and wait for them to offer us ermine, won't we?