Prince Charles' private letters...

... and what exactly they might say is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Worryingly, it's probably not far from the truth.

Jeremy Clarkson sacked...

... and the people who could replace him are the topic of today's column for today's Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And let's hope that's the last I have to write about it for a while, OK?

Boris Johnson as Prime Minister...

... and why David Cameron might want you to think about what that would be like is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And I'm serious about the Turkish delight.

The 9 things we learned from the 2015 solar eclipse...

... and why it wasn't as rubbish as you might think is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Only another 75 years til the next one.

George Osborne's budget...

.. and all the things he didn't tell us are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

It might make you angry. I hope so, anyway.

Prince Harry leaving the Army...

... and what his new job might be is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Obviously, am hoping for the Kanye West one, but I'll be happy with any of them.

Comic Relief, Terry Pratchett, celebrity charity work...

... and why that's all great but an unfamous woman called Andrea Annear was even greater is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

You will probably need a tissue by the end. Have a nice weekend, humans - and give each other a hug.

Jeremy Clarkson...

... and why sacking him from Top Gear might be deserved but would make everything worse for the rest of us is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

NOW GIMME THE FOOD.

The murder of dogs at Crufts...

... and why torturing animals makes you less than human is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Euthanise the lot of 'em, I say.

Football and the rule of law...

... and what happens when it doesn't apply on the pitch is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Of course, I'm a girl. What do I know?

An open letter to Jihadi John...

... which he won't want to read but you might is the topic of today's Daily Mirror column which you can read here.

Ker-pow, Emwazi.

UKIP, Nigel's immigration policies...

... and why he might actually increase immigration if he is elected is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Please send all frothing xenophobic "you must be a lesbian" rants care of your mum.

Penis size...

... and why, unfortunately, we're not running out of dicks just yet is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

It's withering.