The Spice Girls performing at Harry and Meghan's wedding...

... and why there's more to this than meets the eye is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Spice Up One's Wife, etc.

It is easy to predict who will conduct the next USA school shooting. It will, in all likelihood, be a white, friendless male from a dysfunctional family, who has acquired weapons and let it be publicly known he plans to use them.

He will be a collector of perceived injustices, and inspired by previous shootings. He will have a mental disorder and a tendency to blame others. He will chase headlines and see notoriety as a vindication. And his name will be Donald Trump. Read on...

The Terrible KFC Crisis of 2018...

... and why it's not the worst thing happening in your world today is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And as if I should have to point it out, you do not ring the police to report a lack of bargain buckets.

Kate Middleton at the BAFTAs...

... and why her wearing a black ribbon was the best that she could do is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Honestly, I could weep.

If there's one bit of advanced age I am looking forward to, it is the ability to consider complex near-impossibilities with a breezy, rose-tinted and conveniently-forgetful certainty.

"Ah, well, there used to be unicorns running free when Morten Harket was alive," I'll tell my grandchildren, shortly before launching into CRY WOOOOLF, AHAAA-AAA and moving on to reminisce about ghetto blasters and the Betamax War.

So let us not be too harsh with granny and gramps when they harumph about the young today and 74% of them demand a return to conscription. Read on...

Boris Johnson's shocking betrayal of Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe

It's fitting that Boris Johnson chose Valentine's Day to set out his dream of Brexit. His record of lies and unwilling apologies aside, there could be no better time for him to demonstrate just how much the blond bombshell loves himself.

He's not going to tell you during this dimly-lit seduction there's another woman. One whose hair is falling out, one separated from her child, one enduring torture as he treats you to a wink with a rose between his teeth. Read on...

The Tory away day to work out what Brexit means...

It is perhaps no surprise that after more than 40 years of unresolved ruckus about the EU the Cabinet was unable to come to any conclusions about Brexit during the four hours of debate Theresa May had pencilled in this week for a decision. That's barely enough time for Boris to deliver a soliloquy.

So she's packed them on a bus and driven them to the Chilterns in the hope that, in a final push not unlike that which finally did for Elvis, her top team can reach an agreement on, well, anything. Read on...