Fox (n): carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; -ed (adj): to be drunk.

Monday, 31 October 2016

Hillary Clinton might be a witch!

Because she seeks power and we ALL know that means she's a tool of Satan, right? That's the topic of today's Hallowe'en column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Don't forget to vote!

Friday, 28 October 2016

World War 3, Syria, ISIS...

... and why "standing back" while Russia does its thing isn't really na option when we've been at war since 1992 is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read, if you're brave enough, here.

The video at the end should cheer you up.

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Witches, Hallowe'en...

... and why every little girl should dress in a pointy hat this weekend is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

And any Christians who don't like it can go and boil their head.

Monday, 24 October 2016

Princess Beatrice and her sister Eugenie...

... apparently need work to do, so the 9 jobs even they should be able to manage are the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

They won't send me to the tower for it, I've written far worse.

Friday, 21 October 2016

Gary Lineker, lies about migrants...

... and just who stands to gain the most from telling them is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I  know who I'd rather play football with.

Monday, 17 October 2016

Little Mix on the X Factor...

... and the real reason they're taking their clothes off is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Friday, 14 October 2016

Kumbuka the escaped gorilla...

... and why he is not the most terrifying creature in the world is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which is available here.

And no, I'm not sorry.

Wednesday, 12 October 2016

Boris Johnson, Syria and how to Stop the War...

... are the topics of today's quite incredible column for the Daily Mirror, which is all about him telling the truth for once, which you can read here.

Perhaps one day he'll tell the truth in person. We can but hope.

Monday, 10 October 2016

Donald Trump, his locker room banter...

... and why it's the rest of mankind who need to change how they behave is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

Still waiting to hear back from Nigel.

Friday, 7 October 2016

The Apprentice, the Labour Party reshuffle...

... and how they bother face their hardest-ever task is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you may read through your fingers here.

Amazingly, the stuff about the dildo is true.

Wednesday, 5 October 2016

Theresa May's speech at Conservative Party Conference...

... and how she's going to remove every last scrap of enjoyment out of your life is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can read here.

I wish I was joking, but I'm not.

Monday, 3 October 2016

Strictly Come Dancing being racist...

... and why it's not the show but the viewers who can't bear a black man winning at anything is the topic of today's column for the Daily Mirror which you can fume over here.

Please send any complaints c/o your mum.